Funny Senior Moments

I have a few gripes as I grow older and thought I would probably have an audience that can IM'ingrelate!

1. Please!  No child-proof caps on my medicine bottles….these old hands cannot open them.

2. Whenever I say ‘thank you‘ to anyone under 50 the answer I get is ‘no problem‘.  What happened to ‘you’re welcome’?  ‘No problem’ implies that whatever they did for me to incite a ‘thank you’ might have been a problem for them.

3. Change in driving habits:  decades before we put a name to yelling, flipping someone off, etc., it wasn’t road rage….it was freedom of speech. In my twenties,  I went so far as to make a plaster mold of a hand flipping ‘the bird’ so I could wave it out my window!  Now?  I am a meek and courteous driver…you want to beat me to wherever you are going….be my guest!

4.  Even though the population is getting older and older we still don’t garner any respect from the younger generation.  Ageism is alive and well in this country.  Tip: From my stints in the hospital this year I learned something very important.  DO SOMETHING to make the staff at the hospital notice you (in a good way).  Show them that you are a human being worthy of their care.  My idea (and it worked!) was to take the day and night shifts copies of my books.  I instantly became a celebrity and I swear I received better care.

manwoman5. People who drive for miles with their directional signal on…..their music is so loud that they can’t hear the clicking the signal makes, or they are busy on their phones and they are oblivious to everything else.

6. People who talk too fast…..you know what I tell them?  “You’re talking faster than my ears can listen…would you repeat that last bit…and slower?” 

7.  Work ethic…….where the heck did it go?  These young people say they can’t find a job…….oh really?……….there’s lots of minimum wage jobs out there and that can lead to a ‘non-minimum’ paying job.  But what do I know?  One of my first jobs was waitressing in a cafe at $1.00 per hour.  Yep, after working 40 hours I came away with a paycheck of $40. less taxes and was GRATEFUL for the job.

8. Only one thing I like better than paper post-it-notes and that is the electronic ones.  At my age if it isn’t on a post-it, it doesn’t exist and therefore doesn’t get done!sen5

9. Drivers: So I’m driving on a four lane, city street, and up ahead someone is stopping to turn left….I have plenty of room to change lanes and use the outside lane to get by.  Wrong!!  The driver had stopped in his lane, and as I passed I see his right-turn signal on. He turns right across two lanes of traffic and into a driveway.  Warning: If you come to Savannah, beware of the drivers…….they are the worst I’ve ever seen.

10.  Tupperware!  After some 40 years the lid on one of my Tupperware bowl cracked.  (I wonder how healthy it was to keep using the plastic storage bowls that long.)  So my new bowls arrived …..yes the company is still producing Tupperware bowls.  The lids are different but the colors are so much more fun!

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